With or Without You
by jzbandme
Summary: New Moon alternate. Bella left Edward after learning about him and Jessica. Life sucks for a while, but she toughens up and warms up to the steamy Jake. All the wolves will show soon! Lemons on the way! Chapter 1 is up. BxJ
1. Prologue With or Without You

**A/N: First story on this account! I know you have all read it, but I will say it again: I own nothing, the great Stephenie Meyer created everything! I just improved a bit on the plot. Who needs Edward anyways?**

**Read it! Review it! Love it! (hopefully) Feel free to point out any spelling or grammatical errors. I would greatly appreciate it. **

Prologue

"I've had enough!" I screamed. He looked at me, so sad and hurt. What else could I have done though? He would live forever, and I would die. Wither and die. Of course, maybe if he had tried harder, tried to actually change me or maybe, not screw around with Jessica behind my back.

"Bella, please! I will always love you," he reached towards me, trying to hug me. I shrunk back, knowing that his touch would only make this worse. I knew that Charlie was watching us from the window, his hand resting on his shotgun. As if that could help me if Edward got mad. "Don't you love me, Bella, don't you?"

Only one word could end this relationship now. "No."

I turned and walked back inside, as the rain started to fall. I could hear the soft thump of his knees on the dirt as he fell. His cry of anguish almost stopped me, but I had to keep walking.

The trail from the woods to my house was long for me, each step taking me away from the man I thought was my future. He wasn't a man, not really, just forever a teenager. I couldn't breathe with him, I couldn't do anything, but he could do whatever, and whoever he wanted! Suffocation was the name of his game.

The sound of his dry sobs followed me, serving only to remind me of how different we were, and always would be. When I reached the front door, Charlie gave me a sympathetic smile; he knew that it hurt me to leave Edward. Only a few hours earlier, we had talked, well, shouted, about the "Edward Effect" as Charlie put it.

"_Bells, can we talk?" Charlie asked as I walked in the door. I knew something was up. The last time he looked like this he was telling me that my pet rabbit "ran away" over the summer. _

"_Sure Char-, uh, Dad, what about?" He sighed and looked down. I sat at the kitchen table, waiting for a response. Slowly, Charlie sat down across from me. He sighed again. _

"_It's about Edward. Well, you and Edward." This time I had to sigh. Every few days he would give me the obnoxious: Edward-is-unhealthy-speech. I was tired though, unsure of how many more times I could hear that Edward would be the death of me. Ha. If only._

"_He's bad for you Bells. You used to be so happy, now you only care for looking nice. You haven't talked to Jake for a week now! He misses you!" He stood up, his face turning red with his anger. I stood up too, tired of feeling like a petulant child. _

"_Charlie! Enough! I love Edward and he loves me. Screw you if you have a problem with that!" We were both red-faced by now._

"_This Edward Effect is ruining you Bells! He doesn't deserve you!" He looked at me, pleading with me to understand. He sat down again, resting his head in his hands._

"_Dad, what do you mean?" I slowly sat down, looking at him for answers. "Dad?"_

"_Bella, I saw..." He paused and looked down at the checkered table cloth. He looked up at me and took a large breath of air. "I saw Edward kissing Jessica at the store." I stood up and bolted out of the room._

_OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. I knew that Charlie would never lie to me, but I couldn't believe that Edward and Alice, and hell, the rest of the Cullens would lie to me too. They all had to know. _

_I reached my room before the tears started to fall. For hours I lay on my bed and cried my eyes out. After awhile, Charlie knocked on my door. _

"_Bells, Edward is here to see you." By the tone of his voice, I could tell that he was just itching to shoot Edward. If it would have done any good, I would have let him._

"_I will be down in a minute." I sat up on my bed, knowing what I had to do. As I walked down stairs, I saw Edward look up at me and smile his beautiful smile. I faltered on the bottom step as he walked forward to embrace me. I looked at Charlie and gave wry smile. "Edward, can we go for a quick stroll? Just to the edge of the trees." He smiled at me. _

"_Of course Love." He grabbed my hand and we walked to the trees._


	2. Magic Man

**A/N: for those of you who don't like the Cullens, I have good and bad news. This chapter will contain a couple of the icky bloodsuckers, but it only leads the way for the sexy shape shifters (Yay, alliteration!). **

**Again, my plot changes, but Stephenie's brilliant characters and everything else.**

**To xTeAmXwOlFxPaCkX, you will find out soon!**

**For further clarification, this won't follow the timing of the books. For example: Alice has her Porsche, but Jake isn't a wolf quite yet.**

Chapter 1 – I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

"Bella! Bella, wake up!" The shrill voice ripped me from my dreams. "What have you done? Your future is gone!" I blinked my eyes to dislodge the illusion of Alice-freaking-Cullen standing next to my bed.

"What…" I began, too tired to complete a sentence "What the heck are you doing here?" She paused in her pacing and turned around to glare at me. Normally this look from the pixy-vampire would scare the living daylights out of me, but hell, it was seven in the morning. On a Saturday.

"You. Broke. Up. With. Edward. He's ballistic! Catatonic!" She slammed her fist down on my window sill. I sat up straight when I heard the crack of the wood breaking.

"Gah! What the hell! Charlie is going to be pissed! You broke my wall!" I stared aghast at the vertical fracture trailing down my wall. "Shit." I muttered. I did not want to have to explain that damage to Charlie.

"Is that really your greatest priority?" Alice snapped at me, "Your fucking wall? Do you know what you've done?"

"You keep asking me that as though I'm the one in the wrong!" I stood up; I was almost one foot taller than the pixie. "I broke up with him, yeah, but he's the ass! You know what he did! I bet you all know, but instead of telling me you sat around laughing at the little human!" I was out of breath from yelling, so I just sat down in the chair at my desk. Alice looked at me, confused.

"What are you talking about Bella?" I let out a harsh laugh.

"I fail to believe that you don't know." She didn't move, but her face morphed into an expression of comprehension.

"Oh. How did you find out? Charlie? Jessica herself?"

"Charlie" I responded. I raised my eyebrow, expectantly. She owed me an explanation.

"What? It's not like it's a big deal. He did it for you." She smiled and resumed her usual fluttering around. At that point I was ready to explode. I stood up again.

"What!" I shouted, waving my arms like a maniac "He fucking cheated on me, for me? How the hell does that work?" Alice looked stunned at my outburst.

"Bella, calm down. It's nothing to be angry about." She sat on my bed and patted the space next to her. "Sit down and I will explain. Then you can apologize to Edward and we can get back to our day. I have plans for us to go shopping."

"Ap…polo…gize?" I stuttered out. Dumbfounded, the only thing I could do was sit down near her.

"You see, Bella, Edward has always had control problems around you. Of course, you know that already." She made me feel like a child. "So, Edward decided to follow that 'practice makes perfect' idea you mentioned to him. He figured that if he got some practice with Jessica, he could make it all safer for you." She smiled, like she had solved world hunger or something equally as important. I, however, saw red.

"That's ridiculous! He was supposed to practice with me! How would you feel if Jasper went around 'practicing' with Tanya Denali?"

"I don't understand that connection Bella. I'm not fragile like you. Jasper would have no reason to do such a thing. Edward loves you; it's hardly cheating if it's for your benefit."

"That is terrible logic. Get out of my house. Get out of my life." I walked over to my bedroom door and opened it. Gesturing towards it I continued, "Get the fuck out of Forks." Alice looked highly offended, but she did get up and start walking towards the door.

"I will just let you calm down then. Feel free to stop by when you do. By the way, I can see you coming over." I gaped at her.

"Fuck you." She smiled again. That bitch couldn't take a message could she? I slammed the door behind her. Downstairs, I could hear Alice say goodbye to Charlie. I grinned when he didn't reply. After I watched her drive away in the horrifically ugly yellow Porsche, I went downstairs to see Charlie. He gave me a satisfied smile, letting me know that he heard my shouting match with Alice.

"Proud of you kid." I smiled back, I felt light, like my problems were gone.

"Thanks Dad." I started walking towards the front door. "I'm going to run out to the store. Want anything?"

"Sure. Pick up some steak." I had to roll my eyes at that. Steak was all he ever seemed to want. That and fish.

When I got out to my ancient truck I almost screamed. A deep gouge covered the hood, in some places it went completely through the tough metal. I lifted the hood and shouted for Charlie. Some of the taller engine pieces were trashed. How did I not hear this happen?!

"Whoa. What happened Bells?" He ran his fingers over the inside of the hood.

"No idea." I ground out, but I had my suspicions. Alice. That bitch.

"The damage looks bad. Try to start it up, maybe it's just superficial damage." I got into the cab of the truck and inserted the key. The engine caught, but it sputtered out in seconds.  
"Damn. Damn. Damn." I kept cursing under my breath.

"Huh. Maybe a branch hit it." We both looked at the hood then at each other. I then looked all around the truck and the driveway. No branch.

"Yeah, an invisible steel branch." He shrugged.

"Maybe we should call Jacob. He can tell us what needs to be fixed." I was pretty sure that what Charlie really meant was _'Lets invite Jacob over so he can flirt with you, I can hang with Billy, and you can fall in love with Jacob'. _I sighed.

"Sure Charlie."

I sat in the cab while Charlie called Jacob and Billy. The time ticked by slowly as they drove over, one minute, two minutes, three. Banging my head against the steering wheel seemed appropriate right now.

When I heard the gravel crunch, I exited the cab. Jacob grinned at me when he stepped out of the small car, it looked like a bunny or rabbit, whatever that old Volkswagen was called.

"Hey Bells! How are you! I haven't seen you in a while!" Jake rushed over to me and gave me a hug. He was colossal!

"Whoa, Jacob, get off the steroids." He exhibited his deep laugh. When he stepped back, I had time to appreciate his new body. His white t-shirt showed off his buff arms and chest, and his abs. I had never seen abs that nice, it wasnnot a six-pack, it was a full-on eight pack. I wanted to run my fingers over them. He laughed again.

"Wanna touch?" While secretly I shouted YES PLEASE, my only visible response was to turn bright red and look away. I glanced over to the Volkswagen and saw Billy slowly exiting the car.

"Get over here son and help an old man out of your car. Small vehicles. Yeesh." Billy started to mumble as Jacob walked over to help him out. I turned to face my house as Charlie exited.

"Hey Billy! Getting old aren't you, since when do you need help to exit a car?" Charlie always seemed to tease Billy whenever I saw them. Billy just grinned as Charlie walked over.

Once Billy was out of the car and inside, Jacob walked back over to where I stood. He stepped close as he looked down at me. I felt like my neck was going to break from staring up at such a sharp angle. He was way too tall. We were about a foot apart when he spoke. It took me a second to notice that he was talking, the sheer closeness of him was overwhelming me.

"Bells? Charlie said something was up with your truck. What's up with it?"

"I…uh, oh. Yeah, the truck. It's hard to explain, you might just want to look at it for yourself." He smiled again and I almost passed out. So gorgeous. He stepped to the right and made a little mock bow, indicating that I should lead the way. I stumbled over to my truck and pointed wordlessly at the hood.

He let out a low whistle.

"What did you do to it? It looks like someone carved it out." He looked back at me and I could only shrug. He lifted the hood up and just stared at the damage. "Yikes Bells. This is going to take some time. If we bring it down to my garage I may be able to fix it faster, but it's still going to take me a few days." I groaned.

"Okay. I will get it down there somehow." He turned around and stepped in front of me. My heart started beating faster. We were practically chest to, well waist, seeing as how I was so short…when he reached out. I thought, and hoped, that he was going to kiss me, but he only tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You know what this means Bells." He smiled again.

"What?" I nearly choked on the word.

"It means that you are going to get to spend lots of time down in La Push." I think I just died and went to heaven. Of course, a little voice in the back of my head was telling me that I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, but thankfully the voice shouting "Jump him!" was a whole lot louder.

We could hear the game playing inside, with Charlie and Billy shouting at the players, but that didn't stop me from inching closer. My head tipped up in that classically obvious kiss-me tilt. Jacob slowly moved forward too. It seemed like our lips were only inches apart, then my phone started ringing in my pocket.

"Damn it." We both cursed. I pulled out that godforsaken device and looked at the number. Edward. That ass was still ruining my life. I opened my phone and closed it again. Hanging up on him felt good. I looked back up to Jacob and watched him back up a bit.

"Sorry Bells, I don't know what got into me. Look, I know you have a boyfriend so I will back off. I should get going." I was surprised at that. The "jump him" voice was shouting nooo!!!! in my head. Heck I think all of the voices were.

"I don't!" He turned back to me with a look of confusion. "Jacob, I broke up with Edward yesterday. He cheated on me." Jacob smiled, but he kept walking backwards to his car.

"Can you have Charlie bring Billy back?" I started walking towards him, I wanted that kiss.

"Sure." I responded. "When should I come over tomorrow?" Jacob paused, halfway into his car.

"Anytime. Just give me a call first." I was on one side of the door now, with Jacob on the other. I looked into his dark eyes and kept moving forward.

"Will do." We were inches apart again. I took my phone out of my pocket and through it into the grass. Jacob smiled at me.

"Bells?" I could feel is sweet breath on my face.

"Yea?" His hand was on my cheek.

"Call me Jake." Our lips met. My heart was beating out of my chest now, but all I could feel was the warmth of his lips on mine. It felt like we stood there for years, but when we pulled away, I felt like I didn't get long enough. He smiled again, and then he got into his car and backed out of the driveway.

I didn't move for a while, I just kept thinking about the spark I felt with Jacob, erm…Jake, that I had never felt with Edward.

When I returned inside, I could feel myself smiling. Charlie and Billy looked up and gave me odd looks.

I didn't realize that Billy had asked me a question until I was already in the kitchen and Charlie had followed me. He shook my shoulder lightly.

"Bells? You okay? Billy asked if Jake left, but you kept walking." I shook my head to get out of my daze.

"What? Oh, yeah, Jake left, he asked if you could bring Billy back. I need to bring the truck to their place so he can work on it. He said that it would take a while to fix."

Charlie gave me a knowing look before returning to the living room. I made a sandwich before heading up to my room. When I got up there, I went straight to the crack in my wall. Cursing, I tried to assess how deep the damage was. Damn you Alice, first my wall then my truck.

I jumped when I heard someone ahem from behind me.

"Ah!" I screamed, when I turned around, I saw Rosalie in front of me. "What are you doing here?" I tried to whisper, I didn't want Charlie to hear. Rosalie gave me a faint smile before gliding over to my chair and sitting down.

"I wanted to talk to you." She looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you. Any of you." She rolled her eyes before talking.

"Grow up Bella. Edward is an ass. I'm not entirely surprised about that, but don't project your anger onto the innocent bystanders. The only people who knew were Edward and Alice. Both of whom are idealistic fools." I just looked at her silently.

"I didn't come to apologize. I won' t try to make up for Edward's foolishness." I glared at her.

"Then why are you here? To rub it in that I won't be a vampire? I don't care anymore." She looked at me as though I was a young, insolent child.

"Actually, I came to tell you that I am glad that you won't be joining us." I started to speak, but she continued. "Look, I know we have not got along at all, but I want you to know that if you ever need my help, or Emmett's, just call. I think I speak for the intelligent part of our family when I say that we really do love you Bella, and we want you happy." She got up from her chair and gracefully floated out the window.

"Thanks." I knew she could hear me, even though she was far from sight.


	3. Vertigo

**A/N: Not much to say today…just enjoy and review! Sorry for taking so long to update…I got busy with work and school, but I will try to update more often now. **

**This chapter took me forever, I wrote it then deleted the last half, and then re-wrote it again. Hopefully the next ones will go smoother! I've got the next 8 chapters partially planned out, but I still take awhile to pump out the filler. **

**Again, review! You might be able to get a preview of the next chapter if you do. (Subliminal Message: take the bribe.)**

Chapter 2 – Vertigo

"Dad! I'm heading down to La Push now!" I shouted while walking down the stairs. I couldn't actually see Charlie, but I knew from his muffled reply that he was here somewhere.

"Okay Bells!" As I opened the front door, Charlie emerged from his room upstairs. "Say hi to Jake from me, oh and tell Billy that I'm up for fishing tomorrow. Pick up the fish batter from Harry!" He continued his lists of demands "Make sure you invite Jake and Billy to dinner." When I finally made it through the door, he stopped.

My truck had been at Jake's place for seven days now, with little progress made. I knew that Jake was working around the clock to fix it, but there was so much work to be done.

Flashback – _Five days ago_

_I couldn't sleep the night after Rosalie left; our short conversation was swimming around my brain. We really do love you Bella. We really do love you Bella. We really do love you Bella. I turned over on my bed and put the pillow over my ears, as if it could block out the echo of her voice. _

_When I heard Charlie move around and walk downstairs, I decided to give up on sleep altogether. I groaned, knowing that today I had to bring my truck to Jake via the expensive tow truck I rented. Really, why do they need to charge like $50 an hour for a 15 mile drive. Grr._

_By the time I pulled up to Jake's house I was tired and $25 poorer. Although it wasn't a significant amount by any means, I still got out of the truck with a grumpy mood. Jake smiled and walked out to meet me, giving me a hug and a kiss on my forehead, causing the bad mood to evaporate. _

_"Hey Babe. Glad you stopped by. I've been thinking about your truck, the damage is weird, but I should be able to replace the main parts." He gave me a large grin while he picked me up and swung me around._

_"Ack! Put me down!" We were both laughing when he set my feet on the ground. "So…when do you want to start working?" _

_"Are you saying that you are planning on helping Bells?" He leaned his palm against the side of my truck. I could see the muscles on his arm bulge as he leaned his weight on it."I didn't know that you were car-savvy."_

_I was a little flustered; I knew cars about as well as I knew psychology…so not that well. I just smiled and walked over to his garage, silently praying that I wouldn't trip. After several successful steps I looked over my shoulder and saw Jake watching my hips. I faced forward again and giggled to myself. Why not give him something to look at, I asked myself. With each step I added a bit more swing, eventually I had I nice swagger going. When I glanced over my shoulder again, I noticed that Jake was enjoying the view. Unfortunately for me, while I flirted with Jake, my ability to walk without injuring myself diminished. I walked straight into the door to his garage. It was either the loud thump, or the sight of my ass hitting the ground that woke Jake up from his daze._

_"Whoa, Bells! You okay?" He rushed forward and kneeled next to me. I just groaned in reply as I stared at the ten…no twelve headed Jake that was swirling around my vision. "That's going to leave a serious bruise Bells." His fingers skirted across my forehead and I shivered at the feeling._

_"Ungh. You look funny." The twelve headed Jake laughed and leaned down even more to look at me. For a swirly twelve headed being, Jake was pretty damn hot. I think I laid there for awhile, not entirely ready to move. When my vision stopped moving around I decided to risk movement. Upon sitting up I felt my whole head spin, but I was able to stabilize myself pretty quickly. _

_I ended up spending the day watching Jake while he examined my engine. I couldn't help but stare at the deep gouges in my hood. Stray thoughts kept popping in my head…what if it had been me? If the angry vampire slashed my torso? I shuddered and hopped off my seat. _

_"Jake!" He lifted his head out from under the hood and turned to me. _

_"Huh?" I rolled my eyes. That guy needs to learn more words. _

_"I gotta head home. Are you still giving me a lift?" Jake smiled and I felt my face heat up. _

_"Yeah Bells. Let me finish this up, then I'll give you a ride." I glanced at the rabbit parked outside. My head filled with thoughts I did not need right then. Jake and I. Backseat. Kissing. Giving me a ride. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind before I turned into a blushing tomato. "Charlie is going to kill me when he sees that bruise." _

_My hand flew up to my forehead. Was it that obvious? Shit._

_"Charlie likes you as much as he likes me. You'll be safe. It's not like anyone will be surprised." Bella plus movement equals bruising. Besides, I won't tell him you were staring at my ass." Shit! Where did that come from? My face flashed red in an instant._

_Jake looked up, his eyes smoldering. He let out a low growl. "It's nice to stare at. Besides, I could tell that you wanted me. To stare at it." He stepped closer. Like a panther…no, a wolf stalking prey. I stumbled on my words. I probably looked like a fish, my mouth gaping and closing. Sound would not come out. I backed up until I hit the wall. I felt some tool on the wall pressing onto my back, but I was too focused on Jake to care. _

_Jake continued to move forward until my chest was pressed against him and his…tool was pressed against me. He bent his head down to my neck and whispered into my ear. _

_"I like kissing you." He pressed his lips to the joint between my shoulders and my neck, and I felt his warm tongue lick my pulse. I took a sharp breath. He inhaled. "You smell good. You taste good too." My heart was hammering against my chest. I was fairly sure that he could feel it beating against him. My hands moved without my brain's permission and slipped down his chest, over his washboard abs and down to his waistline. He groaned against my neck. _

_"Fuck Bells. You're testing me." He started kissing up my neck, pausing to suck at the edge of my jaw. He kept kissing and licking while I just pressed myself uselessly against him. I moaned as he caught my earlobe in his teeth and pulled._

_"God. Jake." His hands were roaming my body; I hadn't noticed that they had slipped under my shirt. I felt a shiver ascend my spine as his left hand dragged down my side and gripped my hip. His right hand was exploring more northern areas. He finally got to my lips and kissed me as his hand went for my breast. His lips attacked mine with fervor. I bit on his lower lip and ran my teeth over it. He let out a low growl from his chest. His mouth was warm and hot as we both fought for dominance. I opened my mouth to let out a moan and Jake took it as an invitation. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and met mine. Too soon he pulled away and started sucking on my neck again, but he resumed his attack on my mouth before I could really protest._

_Abruptly, he backed off and smiled at me before dropping his head against my shoulder as we both tried to catch our breath. We stayed there for a moment longer before I slid off his hips and tried to stand on my wobbly legs. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe I had been practically screwing Jake after just dumping my ex. Heck, I couldn't believe that I was so bold in the first place._

_"Look at me Bells." His warm hands rested on my cheeks and tilted my head up towards his. "Don't regret this. Don't regret us."_

_I looked into his eyes and saw so much emotion. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall. I felt him stare at me. His intense gaze stayed focused on me. _

_We both jumped as someone pounded on the door to the garage. Oh God. What if they heard us? If Charlie finds out…_

_Jake placed a kiss on my cheek and stepped back. We both frantically tried to rearrange ourselves and look less…sex-like._

_"Jake! You in there? Isn't that your old truck? I thought you sold it to Chief Swan." Jake cursed under his breath muttering about a Quill and Ember. He ended up sitting on the beat up couch and covering himself a bit with a blanket. I sat next to him as two Quileute boys came into view._

_"Jake! What's up?" The one on the left noticed me first. "Oh…um. Hey." The both smiled awkwardly at me. _

_Jake shook his head. "Bella Swan, meet dumb and dumber. Also known as Quil and Embry." At least his mumblings made sense. They both waved and smiled, while I tried to simultaneously wave back and turn invisible. If they were the least bit perceptive they would notice the hickeys forming on my neck. "So I have to give Bells a ride…uh, a drive home. I have to drive Bella home, so I'll meet up with you guys later." Quil and Embry just kept staring and smiling. _

_"Um, hello?" They snapped out of their haze when I spoke. "Jake, we gotta get going. Charlie wanted me back half an hour ago." _

_At that, Quil and Embry said goodbye, but not before giving Jake a thumbs up that I probably wasn't supposed to see. I could hear them laughing and joking as they walked away. _

_"I'm just going to go get changed. I'll be right back, and then we can leave. You can come inside if you want." He got up from the couch and pulled me up. _

Present day

I still felt weird about the…whatever that was. Things were awkward between us, but not for lack of trying on Jake's part. Jake picked me up every day and gave me a lift down to his place, once he had tried to talk about what happened, but I wouldn't.

When I got in his rabbit today he smiled at me and I felt a rush, just like every other time he smiled at me. Even with my perceived awkwardness, I still was undeniably attracted to him.

"So Bells, I've been thinking about what you said. About cliff diving. The weather is great, so how about we test you out on the low cliffs?"

"Really? Yes!" I did a little fist pump in the air. He laughed at me and started the engine up. I was bouncing in my seat in anticipation by the time we pulled up to the cliffs. I could hear the waves hitting the cliffs and the gulls fighting over morsels of food. I inhaled, enjoying the smell of the ocean and salt. I felt a shiver descend my spine as a few La Push kids jumped off the high cliffs.

"That's Sam, Paul, and Jared. No height restrictions for them. They must think that they're immortal or something. No one jumps that high." We both watched as the Paul took a running leap and gracefully flew through the air before diving into the waters many meters below.

I shivered again. Something was off about those men. We continued to watch as the last of the three men jumped off before we turned and started the short walk to the lower cliffs. Jake held my hand and steadied me when I began to stumble, but even his quick reflexes couldn't prevent me from falling a few times.

When we reached the cliffs, I was practically bouncing in excitement, just like Alice used to. Jake was able to tell from my saddened demeanor who I was thinking about.

"C'mon Bells." He wrapped me up in a warm hug. "Buck up. Let's take off our clothes so we can dive."

I sighed and mumbled under my breath. "If only for another reason."

"What was that?" He paused in his undressing and turned back to look at me, but his shirt was half over his head, effectively preventing him from seeing my red face. At least I got a nice look at his body again. Before he was able to look at me I undressed down to the tank and boy shorts I had thankfully put on this morning. I was glad that I wouldn't be wearing just a bra and panties while diving into the frigid water with a half naked, and incredibly sexy, teenage boy.

"Are you ready yet?" Jake was already posed on the edge of the cliff facing me, but looking ready to fall over as he pleased. I walked forward until we were chest to chest Jake grabbed me around the waist and turned us so I was looking down the sheer drop. He bent his head to my ear.

"Ready Babe?" I nodded slightly, but I wasn't entirely sure. Even though it was only half the altitude jumped by Sam and his friends, it still looked incredibly high from this angle.

Before I realized what had happened, I was flying through the air. My heart exploded with adrenaline, but too soon, I hit the water. The cold was harsh on my energized body, but it managed to thrill me even more. When my head broke the surface, I watched Jake's tumble and fall into the water. He moved with grace like that of the other men. It was exhilarating to watch.

Jake was able to pass me as I swam towards the shore, in the time it took me to swim over and walk up, Jake was already able to get up and lie down on the beach.

While I strolled up to him, he patted the sand next to him and pulled me down in the spot.

"Now I have sand in my underwear." Jake smirked and threw some sand on my chest.

"It's in your top now too." I punched his arm, but only hurt my hand. That man had hard limbs. He grabbed my injured limb and leaned forward until our faces were inches apart. "Lucky sand."

I rolled my eyes and got up off the sand. Jake had his moments, but sometimes…he could really be cheesy. I chose to start walking up to the top, I wanted to jump again.

"Bells! Where are you going?" I turned my head and saw Jake get up from his sandy perch and brush his small amount of sand of his shorts. He started to jog back to me, but in my head I slowed it down to a Baywatch run. The trails of water running down from his hair to his short, over the sand-accented abs certainly added to the whole visualization.

"I'm going to jump again. That was fucking awesome!" He smiled as he caught up to me, I had thought he would have stopped and waited for me, but he continued to jog right past.

"C'mon Bells! Race ya!" He laughed and proceeded to run ahead. I was not willing to lose this race, so I ran. We were both laughing while we sprinted, I was so close to catching him, but as soon as I got close, and my foot caught on a log I failed to jump over. I grabbed his shirt and we both tumbled to the sand, entirely out of breath. Somehow I landed on top of him in that all too cliché position with his all too obvious attraction under me.

"I like the view." Jake grinned up from beneath me. Even with me sitting on him, he still managed to tower over me. The man was gigantic. Believe me, I could tell. "I like having you on top."

"Oh, sorry." My face heated up and I tried to scramble off of him, but he grasped my hips with his warm hands and held me down. His smile faltered as I leaned forward, finally choosing to play his game. I pressed my lips to his chest and started kissing my way up to his neck. Jake groaned as I started sucking on his neck in the spot where he left a giant hickey for the world to see on my neck. I moaned as he lifted his hips and pulled mine down, grinding us together. When I reached his mouth, we were both dying for more contact. I pushed my lips on him while trying to create more friction with my hips. His hands slid up to my waist and pulled my body even more onto his.

"Jake! Bella!" We both swore loudly. Quil had to show up just fucking then. Jake groaned and lifted me off of him and onto the shore on his right.

Quil sped towards us, obviously agitated about something; he slowed as he neared my side. "What. Could. You. Possibly. Want." It was apparent that Jake was just a tad pissed.

"It's Embry. You know how he's been really sick, since that day we came to see you and Bella and you were..."

Jake interrupted him, "Yeah, I know. Continue."

Quil glanced at me before he picked up where he had left off. "I was giving him some soup that my mom sent over; it was chicken noodle, really good. You should try some." Jake coughed to get Quil back on topic. "Oh yeah, so Embry was even worse and he started shaking and shouting that he hated chicken soup. Then, get this, Sam and Paul burst through the door and practically dragged Embry out to the woods. Next, the third one, Jared, told me to leave and that Embry couldn't see me no more." Quil paused and took a breath. "Then I went to find you, but Billy was on the phone with Gramps and you weren't home, so I went here hoping to find you on the beach. I hadn't realized that you would be makin' out. Sorry."

I was completely confused, but Jake wasn't offering any explanation. When I glanced at Quil he resumed talking.

"That's what happened to Paul and Jared. Or so they say. They were sick for a while, and then they started hanging with Sam, skipping school and walking around without shirts."

Another glance at Jake's face told me that we wouldn't we diving again today. I sighed, knowing that Jake's pleasant mood was evaporating.

As we drove back to Forks, Jake glanced at me several times, but didn't speak. As we neared my driveway, Jake veered off to the side of the road and grasped my hand.

"Something is going on Bells. I don't know what, or why. I just know that..." Jake paused and looked away. When I saw his eyes again, I realized how much agony he was in. "That whatever is happening, happened, to Sam, Paul, Jared, and, now, Embry. I'm next Bells. I know that I am, and I don't think that there is anything I can do to stop it." He stopped and looked me straight in the eye. "I love you. I know you just broke up; but I do; I need you to know, because I don't want whatever is happening to get between us."

I could feel tears form, but I wasn't going to cry like the overly romantic teenage girl I was. "Jake, we'll get through this. We always will. That's what couples do, right?"

"Yeah, Bells." He kissed me softly before resuming the drive to my house. As I got out of the car, I looked and saw Jake's expression. Disappointment. I knew why, but I couldn't say it back. It was still too soon. Without a doubt, I knew I loved him, but those damn voices in my head still shouted:_ Will it be enough?_

One Week Later

Jake knew I was avoiding him. He had called my house several times, only to reach the answering machine or occasionally Charlie. For three days my pattern of ignoring him continued, until he stopped calling altogether. During that period Charlie would come home from fishing with Billy and attempt to get me to talk to Jake. When the phone would ring I would turn my music up to drown out the ringing. When Jake visited me, Charlie led him up to my room, but I sprang out the window (in a feat far surpassing my former physical ability) and ran into the trees.

I knew I was being a pathetic fool, but something was stopping me from contacting him. _It's too late now anyways. _The voices continued to persuade me to ignore him, but I wanted to talk to him. I _needed _to. When I woke up on Wednesday, I made the decision to grow a pair and visit Jake, but alas, fate had other plans.

When I woke up in the morning I called Jake's house, but no one answered. I waited until the afternoon, but again there was no answer. Charlie had arrived home at about five, but even he had no idea where Billy and Jake were.

_He's given up on you. _I was starting to get a tad concerned about the din of voices giving me advice. Unfortunately, they seemed to be correct.

"Bella! Billy is on the phone. He said you wanted to talk to him." Charlie shouted from downstairs. I sighed and got up from my bed and walked down to the kitchen. Why isn't Jake calling me back? Why Billy?

"Hey Bella. Jake tried to talk to you the last couple of days, but you never called him back." Billy managed to sound so accusing and so innocent at the same time.

"Yeah, I…" I paused. "I wasn't entirely up to talking with him then. Is he there?"

"He is, but he can't talk right now. He's really sick. Probably won't be talking for a while." Billy was totally lying. I could hear it in his voice.

Suspiciously, I asked "With what? Is there anything I can bring him?" Billy sucked in a breath and paused.

"Not sure. Some flu. Real bad. Nothing you can do. He'll call when he can. Bye."

I felt slightly affronted, but I still hoped that Jake was okay. I told him we'd stick together, and then here I was abandoning him. I was such a hypocritical bitch. By the time I got out of that damned self-pity session, I'd lost whatever chance I almost had.

I sighed and returned to my room, but I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned, but no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't sleep. When it was well past two in the morning, I walked around and looked out my window, into the dark depths of the trees. The forest was a solid block of deep black, except for a flash of color. It may have been a part of a dream, but I swear I saw a wolf. A huge wolf. Right after I saw (or imagined) the huge wolf, I was able to fall asleep, but not without dreams.

That night I dreamt of fire and ice, burning heat melting away icy cold. Jake was there, the boiling water to Edward's dry ice. They growled and fought, but I just stood off to the side. "She's dead. It's all your fault." they shouted at each other. I looked down at my hands, they were transparent. Like a ghost. I tried to yell, but only wind blew. I tried to yell and stop them, but the wind gained in strength as I increased my efforts. Eventually, the wind tore them apart. The powerful gusts blew them away, and I was left standing in the woods. When I looked around, I saw my body on the ground, with a bald eagle perched on my chest. I went to myself, but when I touched my cold, dead hand, I woke up.

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**Again, sorry for the wait, hopefully the length of this one makes up for it? Maybe, maybe not. :)**

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